(thanks to Christen Brandt for showing me this embarrassment to humanity)

So this is a thing now. You pay $10,010 for a wedding proposal package with a ring, limo service, flowers, photography, and fireworks… all capped off with a $10 dinner from Pizza Hut. To any women who have had their big night ruined by this tragic twist ending proposal package, I apologize on behalf of men everywhere. I genuinely cannot think of a more perfect way to send mixed messages to your potential Mrs. Right. (The two mixed messages being “I love you,” and “I hate your fat face, so here’s a slice of artificial synthetic processed fast food pizza and please don’t ever call me again.”)